Pierre D Carpenter

life story

Father, Friend, LGBTQ+ Advocate

PDC in Retrospect

Several years ago my dad told me "I don't want a funeral, I don't want an obituary. I don't need any of that. If people want to remember me, they will." When he died, I kept my promise. I did what he requested. He was cremated, no service was held and no public notice was made. A year and a half later, I feel the need to break part of that promise. I need everyone to know a few things about Pierre Dennis Carpenter. It might be for me, but I need the world to know who he was.

Pierre Dennis Carpenter was born on June 24th, 1952. But he wasn't alone. He and Pierce Marc entered the world only minutes apart. He & Pierce were identical. So much that hospital staff had to immediately differentiate them by name bracelets. Pierre & Pierce were little brothers to Jan. Three kids to Joy & Donald who were told they would never have a family. A few years later came Jacques. The Carpenter family was now 6.

Pierre & Pierce spent 40 years together, side by side, sharing the happy, sad & challenging times. Sadly, Pierce left us in 1992 and Pierre was never the same. Pierre often talked about how great it was going to be to reunite with Pierce. I know they are now happy together.

In 1975 Pierre married Susan and they had a daughter in 1977, it was me, Jessica Joy. The three of us had a wonderful life together, no regrets.

But sometimes, there is a butterfly trapped in a cocoon, waiting to emerge. And that's exactly what happened. Pierre was brave and true to himself. He was strong and he came out. He lived the last 25 years of his life as a proud gay man. He never regretted his marriage and loved Sue until his last day.

Pierre had a long and respected career with MNDOT and retired after almost 40 years of service. He was funny. Always a wise-crack or witty joke, it was kind of his thing. He loved to entertain - the fancier, the better. He loved to make people happy. And he loved to shop - if one is good, 17 must be better. He grew to embrace in every way his status as a gay man. He tried to support the LGBTQ community in any way he could, and he was so proud to do it.

Pierre was loved, tremendously & deeply. And not just by me. He was picky, but when he loved you he loved you hard. Pierre was and always will be, my dad. I was given the gift of holding his hand when he took his last breath, much like he was there for me when I took my first breath. We had a very special relationship and I miss him every single day.

Preceded in death by Donald Carpenter (father), Joy Carpenter (Mother), Pierce Carpenter (brother), Jan Carpenter (brother)

Survived by everyone that keeps his memory alive.