Jim McDermott

life story

Father, grandfather, Plymouth lover (and the Plymouth is "almost done!")

James (Jim) Bernard McDermott, 80, Newton, IA died August 22nd in Des Moines after a brief illness.

Jim was born September 11, 1939 in Anthon, IA. He moved to Sioux City, IA in 1954 and graduated from Bishop Heelan High School in 1958.

He married Marilyn Joyce Erickson November 19, 1960 at St. Boniface church in Sioux City; she preceded him in death as did his parents Bernard and Frances and his brother Lawrence.

He is survived by his sister Joanne Wickham, his son Daniel (Sarah) of Plymouth, MN, daughter Amy (Craig) of Clive, IA and daughter Sherry (Jason) of St. Cloud, MN and grandchildren Benjamin, Kathryn, Tate, Courtney, Natalie, Evelyn and Hadley.

Jim worked in financial services and purchasing and spent time living in Minnesota, Montana and until recently lived for many years in Sioux City. He enjoyed cars and hunting, and organized many family reunions and gatherings for his Heelan classmates. He kept track of special events and dates for his family and sent frequent reminders to us all.

A private memorial service will be held for the immediate family at Calvary Cemetery in Sioux City.

Remarks at Dad's Service, Sioux City, IA Sept. 12, 2020

Not my will, but Yours be done. From the Gospel of Luke, chapter 22.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Because we’re here to help each other say ‘goodbye’ to Jim, there’s a good chance that we’ve been saying lots of prayers over the past month or so. And while we may feel like our prayers weren’t answered in the way WE wanted – it’s good for us to remember that in the Our Father we pray “YOUR will be done.”

Similarly, on the morning that my dad passed away I received a weekly email message from the Benedictines at St. John’s Abbey in MN that read:

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.

So, I tried and am trying to give up control and embrace God’s flow.

Today as we remember my dad – and are able to gather here in person – I’d ask that we also think of all those who were a big part of Jim’s life who can’t be here with us today.

First, those who have preceded him in death; his parents Frances and Bernard. His wife Marilyn “Joyce.” His brother Larry. And Diane and Jo.

Next are all those who would like to join us, but due to pandemic health concerns don’t have that option now. Jim’s sister Joanne, his special friend Diane. Many former co-workers (several of whom we’ve heard from in the past few weeks), his ‘classic car’ friends, his many classmates he still kept in touch with and all the donut recipients.

The many, many recipients of donuts that he would consistently drop off at a variety of locations!

I’m not sure whether it was just kindness – or a little bit of bribery as well?!

I like to think that it was a simple way for dad to endear himself to others and have a closer relationship with them. Of course, it never hurt when he needed a favor!

I’ve heard and read in both religious books and the mainstream press that a death in the family is harder on those of us who remain – who are ‘left behind’ without our loved one.

We children of Jim’s and our families here – all the spouses and the grandchildren and other close relatives – were all kept in frequent contact via emails and more recently by texts from “Grandpa Jim.” By the way, happy birthday to Natalie and Tate who have birthdays coming up and also Happy half-birthday Mike…

We got those messages from Jim often and it’s going to be up to ALL OF US now to keep those connections going.

I’ve felt much closer to my sisters – Amy and Sherry – over this past month as we’ve come together to talk about dad’s healthcare and then taking care of many arrangements. We’ll have to STAY closer and rely on each other more in the future.

With dad – or if he was Jim or “grandpa Jim” to you – you always had someone in your corner. There was no agenda or competition – he was just genuinely happy and proud for you and your family on the various happenings in your life. Good grades in school, performance in sports, a new job – or even home improvements!

We will have to be more like that for each other.

I still continue to think of family updates that I’d like to share with him. Things that he would be proud of. Or sports stories to share with him or photos of interesting cars that I think he’d like to see – and of course when I did share I knew he’d comment on them. The make and model and year – and often about someone he knew who had one of those cars years ago!

So it’s important that we gather and reflect on our many memories and pictures and stories – because as Jim’s experience shows us – we never know how much time we’ll have here together.

And it hurts.

But today, here, and every day now we’re making new memories.

Help us to look around and realize that THESE are the people to make our memories with. THESE are the times we’ll remember and look back on over time.

One of my dad’s common sayings when I was talking to him about coordinating a visit or some plan to get everyone together was, “Whatever works best for you.”

“Whatever works best for YOU.” That’s pretty darn close to, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”

We miss you dad and will be missing you – it will take us all time. But we have this family that you started to support us.